No hablo gardener’s-speak!

17 Apr

Now that I have entered the allotment world I often feel I should be enrolling in an Entry level course in gardener’s-speak. I have checked the websites of several local adult community colleges and so far none seem to offer the course I require. So in the meantime I’ll just have to muddle by until I become fluent. My lack of linguistic prowess was highlighted today when I met another of my plot neighbours, a lovely woman who was refreshingly not a retiree. Don’t get me wrong retirees are great but they often forget what it’s like to have things called jobs which means I cannot tinker on a daily basis.

garlic patch before weeding

Before I attacked the weeds.

I had taken it upon myself to weed my garlic patch. Now that I know those babies are actually growing I figured they need some attention. I decided I would pretend to be my perfectionist hubby for the morning. None of this racing around, setting myself six impossible tasks. Today I would do one task and merely not botch it for a change.  The patch is about six foot by three foot and incorporates some dormant shallots as well as garlic. It was a boring, laborious task that really made me realise why so many people shudder when I mention that I have an allotment. People get pleasure from weeding apparently. It was mindless and yet strangely mindful, there was nothing but me and the weeds for more than two hours.

garlic patch after weeding

Yes it took me nearly three hours to achieve this!

My newly acquainted plot neighbour was a welcome distraction from the boring task. We moaned about the clay like soil and the crap drainage that our plots both share. She also has a pond which she has turned into an actual pond. When she saw me weeding she switched into gardener’s-speak. ‘Just make sure you take out all the perennial weeds’, she said. Perennial in non-gardener’s speak means year round. ‘And those ones there, take out their tubers and they won’t come back’. Tubers I discover when asking for a bit more clarification, as anyone should when learning a new language, in non-gardener’s speak equals roots. Once I knew this the task became easier, I realised just pulling up the green bits wasn’t enough. I went burying around in the dirt looking for tubers, feeling a wave of satisfaction when I found them. There! I just used the word tubers without even thinking, maybe I don’t need that course in gardener’s-speak after all!


One Response to “No hablo gardener’s-speak!”

  1. Gill April 18, 2013 at 9:57 am #

    I think you’ve moved on in gardener speak and are now no longer ‘entry level’. Proof that the earlier you learn a language the better – I know quite a lot of gardener speak because I heard it throughout my childhood even though I have never gardened and am one of those people who shudder at the thought of an allotment! As I have said before I did not get the gardening gene but I know the meaning of perennial and tuber!XX

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