Five lessons in allotment keeping

8 Mar

It has been nearly three weeks since I last ventured to my plot. I can blame half term – how much digging can I do with two terror tots yapping at my heels? I just know I would accidentally end up impaling one of them with my newly bought fork, so it’s not an option. Then last week was a week of doctors and health checks – eye appointments, pre-school boosters and no time to dig. Today I was feeling muzzy headed after a lovely book club meeting in which I had inflicted ‘How to be a Woman’ by Caitlin Moran on the group. Personally I am a pragmatic feminist – if someone reads this feminist-lite book and thinks twice about blowing £21k on a princess wedding or does not go and have a Brazilian then job done! But not everyone agreed and so an evening of lively debate ensued and a bit of wine was consumed.

I learnt some life changing lessons today as I dug in the peaceful surrounds of my plot:

1) Weeds grow back, they really do.

weeds return

Return of the weeds!

2) Three weeks is a long time in gardening – there were weeds. Again. Did I mention this already?

3) Spending two hours in the fresh air is perhaps the best cure ever for a hangover – I no longer am that muzzy headed woman I was this morning. That alone surely has to be worth keeping an allotment for?

4) If you are planting things you don’t have to dig a huge trench. A dibber, some compost and a bit of corner cutting never did any harm. (I think – obviously if everything I planted today dies, I may have to change this particular lesson learned.)


My not-100%-sure-they-will-grow shallots

5) Double gloving is the way forward. I wore marigolds under my crap gardening gloves purchased from Wilkinson’s for a fiver and I no longer have to spend 15 minutes scrubbing my hands to get rid of my workman’s thumb (see previous ‘An idiot’s guide to mud’ for photographic evidence of workman’s thumb.)


2 Responses to “Five lessons in allotment keeping”

  1. Gill March 12, 2013 at 11:31 am #

    Once again – well done my love! Always good to find a new cure for a hangover. I have to say I never thought I would read anything written by you that contained the word ‘dibber’! XX

    • wifi allotment March 13, 2013 at 10:00 pm #

      yeah allotment keeping is a real linguistic journey!

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